Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Yes I'm the Cat she calls Judge-Y



Welcome, welcome, please sit for a bit…go on, go on…OKAY SIT DOWN ALREADY. Thank you…First off I'd like to introduce myself: 

I'm what the human that owns this blog likes to calls the Judge-y Cat. I live with the humans in this house of mine here in good 'ol Iowa. I think she calls me Judge-Y because I give "her" looks all day long on her shenanigans. She's kind of nuts so of course I'm going to give her looks. psh.

So the other night I  overheard the woman speak to the human man the smaller ones call "Dad" that MODA wanted to do an "In Real Life", of the Designers, and if he would be willing to do a little nice blurb on how she manages working from home, being a mother of 4 and well, just being able to handle it all…he would take pictures and then write all these nice things about her and her work ethics.
And well, it was lovely, the pictures were nice, but I deleted it all, and have decided to finally speak out.
Me taking abuse from the smaller versions of the large humans
This woman V? She's certifiably insane.
 Seriously, this woman is insane most of the year, I KNOW, because I spend the most time alone with this woman during the time that the smaller versions of the two large humans are gone, and the man one is gone the most at some thing called a "Job". But the woman one? She calls being holed up in the basement with the sewing machine, and making huge (GINORMOUS!) messes, staring countless of hours at the computer, and talking to herself (though I answer her at times hence probably another reason she gave me the Judge-y Cat nick name) her "Job".


Oh I know what you are saying right now "But Judge-y Cat, she shows us such nice pretty pictures of her sewing space, and finished products like this one."
oops I don't think I was supposed to show you this one just yet, but if you are wondering yes, that's the first and second Simply Colorful Fabric Lines and the GREEN, BLUE, PURPLE, will be available from the MODA Reps at this so called "Spring Market" the woman keeps freaking out over at the moment.
"And Judge-y Cat she shows us quilt and bag patterns all done up nicely like these."
Endless Summer


Sewing Weekend Essentials bag debuting at spring market

 ALL A LIE! A ROUSE IF YOU WILL!!!
This is our living environment at the moment:
Just a small corner in the nightmare we all call "home" right now. See that bunny? Yeah, I think that's a secret message to all of us living with "her" that she's about to snap and will snap limbs if need be.
The floor looks just as bad

In my happy safe place away from scary Market Time V

Allow me to explain. Every six months around this time she calls "Market Time" she gets all kind of special blend of crazy.

 I've decided to finally come out and tell you of the REAL, the BAD, and the UGLY of this so called "Market Time V".

She walks around all in rapid speeds around the house, on the phone, on the computer, sometimes in near tears saying over and over "When is the fabric going to get here??? WHEN? I only have XX amount of time left before it has to be all done!"

Then the day comes and I get woken up with a door bell ringing from the UPS guy who knows the woman and says "Looks like you got your fabric!"
She squeals with delight and looks genuinely happy for a split second and then starts moving boxes, opening boxes, taking out and cutting fabric, THEN PUSHES ME ASIDE FROM THE DAUGHTER'S BED!
Then she says: "Nothing personal Cat, I just need the bed as my set up spot while I take pictures. Aren't they pretty??"  
I reply with "Don't care, you took my spot." and that's when I give her my nastiest stare, and start PLANNING MY REVENGE MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Ahem. sorry.

Okay So I sit and stew…and get super angry because for the next few weeks that sewing machine is going like 24/7, the small humans are UNRULY! There's no sense of control AT ALL!
Getting ready to put a world of hurt on that woman for letting this happen 

Do I LOOK happy? Imbeciles.

This is the kind of crap I have to deal with EVERY 6 MONTHS when the woman is too wrapped up in her "Market Time" state of mind. 

I don't get fed... I hear that the small human's and the man human they call "Dad" don't see very consistent meals either during this time either. You would think that she would care more because she's starving herself…but no the woman can live off of sparkling water and any kind of chocolate she can remember where she hid a stash. FOR WEEKS! Absurd!!! 

SO I SIT AND THINK HOW CAN I GET BACK AT HER. 

And then it happens…

Bright light bulb
I know how to get back at her. 

I'll sabotage her work and make it horrible for her:

"Oh I'm sorry, were you working? Don't mind if I do lay on this."

I'll take her spot any time she stands up:
"What? Just keeping it warm for you my dear…but if you try to move me I'll bite you."

Any time she sits to bind?:
"Hey look guys I have a human growing out my butt! HAHAHA!" 

I'll get on her newly finished quilts:
"Just making sure it doesn't get up and move is all."

and EVERY TIME SHE WANTS TO TAKE A PICTURE????:

Me ruining her picture of "Bloom" 
 I'll be there!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
me messing with her cover of Hopscotch
"Oh I'm sorry…DID I MESS UP YOUR COVER??" 
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Totally surprising her and messing with her back cover picture of Endless Summer
"BAHAHAHA!!! Didn't see me hiding behind the quilt? Oh LOOK OOOPS!" 
Maniacal laugh!!!

GOT 
YOU
SO
GOOD

Wait…




American Quilt Retailer LOVED the photo bomb I did of your Endless Summer quilt so much they asked if they could use it for THIER COVER? 
*SwearWord*
Well that didn't work out like I'd had hoped. 

eh. okay. I'm tired. I hope to make it through this Market Time fiasco yet again. Wish me and the rest of the humans in this house luck. We're going to need it.

go check out who takes over these blogs today as well maybe it's another disgruntled cat like myself:
Brigitte Heitland and Zen Chic
Vanessa Christenson and V & Co
Moda Fabrics and Lissa Alexander
Edtya Sitar and Laundry basket Quilts
Rachel Brenchley and Basic Grey

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Summer on my mind new patterns and sale

 Well the time has finally come to release these two new patterns to go with my Simply Colorful RED, ORANGE, YELLOW line with Moda Fabrics (due to come to a store near you July 2015)
And what better day than today! The weather projected here in eastern Iowa is 75 degrees of pure awesomeness. This weather makes me so happy! And it is making me so excited for SUMMER!!! we have around 30 days left of school and then it's my happy place of vacation time and the POOL! So looking forward to the pool. So in celebration of these two new patterns and school being out for summer in 30ish days…lets do a 30% off discount on all PDF patterns including these two new ones I'm showing today! Just enter SUMMER30 at the checkout and get 30% off all your pdf patterns. :)

Okay well, Lets introduce these two new patterns.
As most of you already know, I was born and raised in southern California by the beach. I miss that beach, and I think these two quilt patterns had San Diego/Los Angeles Beach written all over them! Lets talk about the first pattern:
Endless Summer: 

 This quilt is such a fun quilt with great colors. We paired up the Simply Colorful Prints with some much loved Bella Solids.
 The quilt measures at 64''x70''
This booklet pattern includes color images and diagrams, step by step instructions on cutting and piecing, and pressing. It's a fantastic quilt and has already become a favorite of mine. The Fat Quarter Shop has pre orders of the Endless Summer Kit for sale here
 Cat not included... that's not the first time she's made it on the cover of one of my quilt patterns remember her here?:
this was when I took pictures of my Hopscotch pattern she seems to think I need to have her be a part of the whole picture taking experience I guess. Still as judgey as ever she seems to be looking at me like "seriously, another picture of this quilt? don't you have like a bazillion?" Why yes judgey cat I do, but I really like this quilt so back off."
We talk like that to each other all the time, it's not healthy.

Anywho…NEXT!

SUNRISE:

 When we made this fabric line of red, orange, yellow to be part of the Simply Color Book Series, I knew I would have to make a couple of patterns as well to display the versatility of this color option. And what screams Sunrise more than RED, ORANGE, and YELLOW? Nothing that's what!

 This quilt measures 48'' x 60'' (perfect little lap size) to snuggle under while you watch the sunrise over the mountain, skyline, ocean, lake, field, trees…wherever you may find yourself enjoying the view.

This quilt uses each one of the mini fat quarter bundles color ways.
The pattern includes detailed color diagrams of each block in the quilt, and step by step instructions. 

both of these patterns include my Simply Colorful RED, ORANGE, YELLOW fabric line that is due to come out JULY 2015. 

Make sure you enter SUMMER30 to get your discount on all your PDF patterns. SEE YOU SOON! I have more news next month but for now this will do.
Discount ends Sunday April 19th at Midnight. Happy almost summer! We'll talk soon


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