Friday, February 24, 2012

V and Co: why

'
new favorite line at the moment domestic bliss by liz scott and a little pez as well

truth be told there's a lot going on. ha! there you have it. i'm sewing and sewing...and the blog...quiet. eh.
had a couple of wonderful chats with friends about balance between blogging, family and "other"...or rather lack there of. eh.
truth be told my family will always win.
as they should.
if everything ended tomorrow, my husband and children are what matters the most. period.
and speaking about family. i know some have mentioned that i've changed a few things here on the blog about what i write about, mainly about my kids and spouse.

let me explain why i've quit writing about my kids as much.

about a year-ish ago one of my sons came up to me and said "mom, can i ask you something. please."
i took one look at him and saw what he wanted to say was pretty important...i answered  "what is it? of course."
"can i ask you not to write about me on your site anymore."
i got that feeling, you know that one in that starts in your throat and goes down the deepest part of your stomach that accompanies where you've done something wrong or someone thinks you've done something wrong to them.

 i hate that feeling.

 i'm very much white personality  YUP, married to a therapist can you tell! disclaimer i am just highlighting the descriptions of the personality colors on that site. we're not affiliated with that site nor do i know anything about that site and i don't recommend buying or filling out any personal info. you can find more info about the color code  from this book.   
 i am most happiest when others are happy, i hate tension, but i especially hate making someone feel bad. don't worry i defend myself and my family if ever put in a corner, (that's the Colombian fiery side in me that comes out when it needs to ) but right at that moment i saw my child sad, about something i had said on the blog.

i guess even though it was hysterical what had happened and when i wrote it he was laughing too, and he was laughing when it happened, somewhere down the line, it wasn't funny anymore and he was hurt.

so from that moment on, i made it a personal mission never to have one of my children come up to me hurt about something i've written about them on the blog. since that moment i have to get an actual "okay" from each of my kids to write what i write if it includes their name or picture.

that also includes my husband. (and he's kind of upset he doesn't get more blog time, because he "is so hilarious and would like all of you to know of his hilarity". oh dear heavens). and he does do a lot of funny things, but it takes time to write it all out and blah de be blah...and when he gives me so much material it all gets jumbled if i don't write it down right there and then. i'll try to be better about that. he really is funny.
so last time i wrote about the kids and the husband that i got an okay on was here and  here.
and no not all of my kids are as shy about being written on the blog. one of them actually constantly says "hey you should write about this on the blog!" and no its not one of the young ones...and no i wont put you through the pain of what an adolescent boy thinks is hilarious on a daily basis. o_0

truth be told, most of my time is spent with the littlest one. that one there, with her back to me in the picture. she and i have the most time together, even though she goes to school every day, she's still home more than the three boys, they go to school and the minute they walk in from school it goes a little like "HI MOM!!! NO HOMEWORK! I'M PLAYING WITH_____"
i get about a nano second to say "did you have a good day, are you SURE you don't have homework?!"
bam gone. okay check backpacks...

so with all that said here's a little personal update.
son #1 is doing well. if you've been around you've read of his and my struggles.  he's been doing great and we've seen SO MUCH GROWTH in the last 6 months it brings tears to my eyes just to write it. he's doing well, trying new things, (heaven help me that trumpet is going to get annoying if he sticks with it.) he's made friends that come to our house to ask for him :D <---that's a huge grin. and he's growing up some. oh we still struggle, but with all our more stability in life in general i think he's feeling that peace too.

son#2 well that kid is nicknamed "big brain" he's in some talented class that's too smart for me. i can't seem to get enough books downloaded for him to keep up with his reading. and yeah. he's doing just fine. friends and all the other stuff 10 year old boys do.

son#3 is well...my happy little child that probably sees everyone as muppets and the colors of the world are fluffy and happy colors. constantly need to pull that kid down from the clouds, and the only time things are "wrong" in his world are when he's hungry or about to get the flu. must be a happy place to live sometimes i wish i lived in that place.

the girl she's uh...blossoming into a big girl. her dog is still her best friend, and she's made some human friends here as well and missing her other human friends from our last place. and well she's taken on the role of taking care of the boys as i should or would if i saw what they were up to. she's pretty funny sassy too, but if she doesn't want you to think it's funny, she gets pretty feisty. should be an interesting teenage years.

the spouse: is missing his friends/co-workers that are all spread out everywhere now and some left behind making the new program awesome. :) BUT he's also loving doing what he's doing, and the experimental "i don't know if this is really going to work" side private practice has at times, taken a mind of its own where he feels like he has too much side practice going on. which is a good problem to have, but stressful as well no less. sigh of relief he loves what he's doing.

my home is still very bare. painted? yes. do i like the color. hmmm, i don't know. but it's staying up for at least a year.  and i promise to show some of the progress soon.

and me...well hmmm...how am i doing. okay? some weeks i find myself one step away from a panic attack. yup, two days ago i cried my eyes out because i felt i had too much on my plate and i couldnt figure out a time to take a shower/take a minute to breathe...but thankfully that just comes in spurts. for the most part. i'm doing well. at least that's what i keep chanting out loud when i feel like i've bitten too much for me to chew.
i kind of miss just having down time to organize something because well...i've been meaning to do it and i don't have too much to do today...
*so looking back throughout the years, i've noticed something. i always freak out in february, oh and june. those are my freak out months. so there you have it. mystery unlocked...i don't like February i guess :)
yup those are my whys right now. why the blog is so quiet, why i am who i am, why i haven't written more about my family lately and why i get up in the mornings.
so i guess we're doing "normal" and that my friends is awesome sauce to me. aside from the crying fit the other day.
hope you handle your normal well, and that all is well in your house.
have a great weekend.
i'll be over here. doing a lot of whatever "normal" means.

21 comments:

Judi said...

Finding balance is always so hard, but I am sure you are doing awesome and I am happy that you and your family are doing well! Good luck with everything ;)

Kim said...

TOTALLY understandable about everything. You need time to yourself, and your family needs their privacy.

I can relate about being overwhelmed. There are sooo many things I want to do. When I don't have the time to do it I get really anxious. When I do have the time, because of our limited space (we're in limbo housing wise), I spend a lot of time moving things around to make space to do something, so I can never complete anything in one sitting.

Just breathe deep and know that it will all get done. Probably not in the time you had hoped, but it will.

...and we will always be here cheering you on.

Dollwood Farms said...

great post, thanks for shaing. I wish you all the best & love the blog. :)

pinksuedeshoe said...

Dear V, a very sweet and crazy friend once told me that if you can pee while you shower you can save about 3 minutes a day to yourself. Not that I do that. Really. Love this post, good luck with the life/balance/kids/homework/dinner/sewing/dog stuff!

Pinky said...

beautiful post! just lovely... speaking for myself, I love the balance that you have in the blog: gorgeous projects and sneak peeks into your family life and home.

You do a great job!

Tiphaine said...

so well said !!! Thank you for sharing your thought and just being you ! a "normal" woman !!! I wish you well.. from here (guyana) to you !
Tiphaine

www.d-un-bout-du-monde-a-l-autre.com

sandra said...

Big Hugs, a great post about your family who must all come first. Just keep breathing deep that is something we forget to do. Take it from an old lady. You are doing just fine we all have those days. Blessings

Tara said...

My mom says she's the only normal one and the rest of us are cracked. I know just how she feels. I got to chat with a friend the other day(we chat everyday) and she shared some with me after she had chatted with you. Balance, what an awesome thing to aspire to!

Michelle Jensen said...

Hey I totally agree. My blog started out as a family blog and then it turned into a hobby blog just about me, lol. I think that people could sometimes assume that I am crazy but I just feel that the kids and family stuff is special to me and after awhile I didn't want to share everything... but I do like little updates and include that I am a mom and a wife too, right! Yep so I am glad you put this one up here becuase I like it and it makes me feel a little less crazy :)

Ms. De said...

I love reading your blog and while we may not have met, I feel like I really know your spunky little personality! I had one of those "too much on my plate" meltdowns today, as a matter of fact, and I don't have four children I'm dealing with!! (Well, I do have a two year old crazy hound mix...does that count??!! ) But as the mother of two kids, 28 & 26, who in my mind were just yesterday dropping their backpacks on the floor and running out to play, your children and your husband SHOULD be your first priority! Those of us who love you, and your blog (AND your amazing designs! ) will wait and understand. Plus, you know that old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"...
I look forward to your next post...whenever that is!! Blessings!

mascanlon said...

Such a thoughtful post, I do so appreciate how hard it is too handle everything...especially when we like to please everyone. Its nice hearing the update on everyone and oh how they are growing. I do hope you find the time to enjoy the crafts cause thats really so much of why we do it. BTW I have finished my Houndstooth quilt top in awesome orange but it needs to be quilted be sure i show it off!

Anonymous said...

Shirley said:
V and Company is the very first blog that I started following. Don't under estimate your self. I so enjoy your blog. I started when your husband was in between jobs, your move. Keep on keeping on!

Valerie Joan said...

I have to laugh at this...a remember when, looking back at me laughing with 4 kids and one step daughter..I look back, I like to say that i took my retirement while my children were small, from the time my oldest made it known that i was pregnant with her, til my youngest was 15 (2004 - 9 yr gap between 3rd and 4th), then i went back to work and a total career change (from nurse to working for our school board). I will never be able to retire but that is ok because as i tell everyone who cares (or even asks) that i retired when i was young enough to enjoy it! Family first...Family first should be the most natural thing but sometimes the hardest thing to do. I realized a long time ago that my family (4 kids - each a very special gift) that they were very special, the most special people in my life...so each day i served meals on my good plates, used cloth napkins, laid the food on serving plates, not served from pots..I loved treating them special, as if they were my guests..Guests that would one day leave and create families of their own (still no grands thought because I tell them i am too young..ha)....I love calling my children 'my gifts'.
I have totally enjoyed your bloggings about your gifts, so many of your mentions of your children trigger memories of mine back when. Thank your family for allowing you to share them with so many of us!
With thanks and understanding, Valerie!

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

....and that's the way it is. So honest.
I think everyone here also thinks family comes first. I do.

sonia said...

Great post! Very intelligent thoughts and cleverly written! Love your blog, the new layout and ALL your . Thanks for sharing!

Suburban Stitcher said...

family...and YOU...always need to come first. period.

I had a friend (single-no kids) tell me recently that she felt bad and had been distancing herself from me because she never wanted me to feel like I had to choose her over my family. I was like...um...yeah LOVE YA...but I will NEVER choose anyone over my husband or kiddos! It's hard to change...especially when we're used to doing it all and being OK at the end of the day. I'm so happy that your kids are thriving and your husband is happy and still hilarious :)

ecuakim said...

Hi Vanessa! I’ve followed your blog for years! And you’ve inspired me to start my own quilting blog. I’m sponsoring a contest there, and I’d be honored if you would keep this link in your comments section: http://sweetapplequilts.blogspot.com/2012/02/vote-for-leslie.html
I’m trying to help my friend win the American Family Go Get Your Dream contest. Thank you!

p.s. I'm so glad your son is doing better.

Erica said...

i love this post because it is so real.
thank you!

katie z. said...

My husband hates February. The short, dark days and seemingly endless winter kicks his Texas behind.

Kim said...

I realized the other day that I have a meltdown every February too! My theory is that its because we are cramming all of the usual monthly activities and business into a month that doesn't seem shorter enough to make a difference, but apparently is. Plus, in Michigan winter is really cloudy and gloomy, and by February I start to feel like I can't take it anymore :) Hang in there!

Jed and Ivy said...

what an awesome centerpiece!

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