Tuesday, January 24, 2012

V and Co: moves like jackie

jackie chan that is.
yup, this is a story about the day i joined a gym again. the day i was forced to stop walking in the wee morning hours while most of the neighborhood sleeps.
see you would think that the word "winter" would have stopped me from walking.
nope, we've had a pretty mild winter.
i've been walking every monday through friday morning (except for rain) for the last 6 months. so when winter came around and it wasnt really that bad, i kept walking.
then it started to dip down into the single digits.
and guess what?
still walked.
yup, you could say i'm pretty bad A.

well, even the biggest and baddest get taken down a notch every once in a while.
and that my friends, is exactly what happened to me a week ago.

let me set the scene:
my neighbor who's gotten to know me and still kind of likes me and i being all bad A bundled up in three layers of clothes as well as sporting protective face gear/gloves/extra socks and so forth, up and walking our route, needing to watch our step a little bit more than usual because the last snow fall has left a few icy patches here and there.
we're rounding to the home stretch and out of nowhere (not really the owner was standing there and i had seen HIM just not the little puff ball) a little puffball of a dog comes bouncing out from behind a snow bank.

have i mentioned that i ALSO walk my 98 lb dog every morning and i am attached to the leash of said dog on our walks? no? yeeeeah. well i do. and i'm not trying to brag when i say i don't weigh that much more than the dog, but i am short, so therefore i don't really weigh that much more than the dog.
yup, keep reading on...

i usually wrap the leash around my wrist a few times just to not have so much lag on the leash and well, our dog is a really great dog that normally doesn't care too much about other dogs we meet up on our morning routine. he's more of a look over at the other dog freaking out barking and pulling at thier owner's leash and say something to the effect of "hey, sup? just chill we see each other ever morning dude." kind of dog. and then continues on his happy little walk.
yup, my dog rocks and is probably cooler than yours...but then again he did get hit twice by a car...sooo. whatever the case he doesn't pull me hardly ever.

okay so back to the puff ball. lets see where were we...he jumps out catches me and my neighbor and my cool awesome dog offguard...i'm attached to the leash...aaaaaah yes.

my dog for some reason jumped and pulled forward all in one flowing motion, and because i was caught off guard, my ninja like reflexes weren't at their best.
but still, in my head as i was being pulled in midair, and while in my 360 degree flip i looked something like this:
as it all happened in slow motion i could hear in a close but far away distant, my neighbor and the puffball dog's owner say things like "ooooohhhh...OOOOUUUUUCHHHH...thhhaaaaats goooooot toooooo suuuuuuuck..."
 and then i envisoned mr jackie looking like this.

i landed flat on my butt/back
when i hit the ground, i hit really hard.
but to add insult to injury... (nope it doesn't stop there)
my dog then continued to PULL AND DRAG ME 4 to 5 feet, in the snow, just like a runaway sled.
while on my back being dragged, i collected a ton of snow, much like the snowplows do...
and then as quickly as it began...it stopped and i layed there:
this is not REALLY me...just a dramatization of me...though i would like to rock those shoes
when i finally came to, and was able to stand up, my neighbor asks "you okay?"
 "yup. peachy!"
then she said "i didn't laugh."
we both knew she was waiting and trying real hard not to though...
and then i did. i started to laugh uncontrollably and so did she...so much that the other dog and the owner slowly slinked away and high tailed it out of there.

when i finally made it home, i told the husband what happened and he asked if the neighbor had had any way of documenting it because he was pretty sure we would go viral and then we could quit this silly business of working all together with that one video.
then we both looked at the dog...
the dog looked back and i swear to you said:
"sup? we going on another walk?...what? why you looking at me like that?"
nope buddy, no we're not going on another walk.
i'm now walking on a motorized rubber belt.
and i no longer feel like a bad A.

ps: yes i'm okay.
two days later i "felt" the fall in my bum and back. the husband took care of me,(thank you husband!). 
though i'm still waiting for the "sting" my pride took to go away(husband NOT helping on that one)...but somehow i think with each laugh, it gets a little better. :)


Colette said...

Oh my goodness, I can't stop laughing. I' m glad your o.k. Though. I never would have laughed if I had been there. You have a good friend.

Rae Ann said...

Ouch! I feel your pain! My dog is 130 pounds and not at all well behaved on a leash. My other dog is 80 pounds and desperately wants to occupy the same molecular space as me. I also have 2 Pomeranians. I walk the bigs and my kids walk the littles. When we go for a walk, cars slow down to watch.

Tennjenny said...

Oh, Vanessa, that last picture really makes it.

Outlaw said...

That was good for chuckle. Sorry you had to fall for us to laugh. I can only see the image in my mind. Not to worry, I've had my own adventures of falling. Mine was face first & without a dog or dogs to make it happen. AND that is all I will say on that subject. Hope you aren't in too much pain.

Leigh Anne said...

That's hilarious!! Thanks for sharing...so glad you weren't seriously hurt :) I walk the black belt too...in my house

Leanne said...

That's soooo funny...I'm glad your ok though...Where I walk there are snakes and spiders, big ones, so I can relate to getting on the treadmill....

Ann-Marie said...

you crack me up!
I could totally picture how bad A you were!! :)
thanks for the laugh!
sorry that you fell though!

Unknown said...

bahahahahaha! Oh I died. But I'm allowed to die because where I live if this didn't happen to you this year you've probably been hiding inside. (guilty.) I've hit the ground hard many a time. (first thing I did last winter when I had a baby to carry around was ditch the pretty boots for some grippy ones!) The worst and most embarassing was also in front of a neighbour, who I didnt see until after I'd been running for the bus and then slipped and slide several feet. "...are you okay?" "Uh... yeah..." *slink away mortified* I've never had a dog add to the adventure, though. I can totally picture it all going down! lol

Karen said...

You did a GREAT job of describing that!! Way to go! Hope your buns feel better soon.

Esch House Quilts said...

Oh my! You sure know how to tell a story! Those are some really awesome dog-walking shoes in that last shot.

I'm glad you weren't hurt :)

Unknown said...

Ohhhhhh my gosh! Glad you're OK, and unlike your friend, I have to admit I laughed!
For future walks, let me recommend this: http://www.wag.com/dog/p/premier-pet-gentle-leader-eco-127356?site=CI&utm_source=cse&utm_medium=cpc_W&utm_term=RAD-242&utm_campaign=googleproductlistingads&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=RAD-242&ci_gpa=pla&ci_kw=%7Bkeyword%7D

It worked wonders for me and our 100lb lab, Chief, who has since gone to doggy heaven.

Cascade Quilts said...

You had me laughing just imagining it. Love your storytelling!!! You ARE a bad@$$ :)

catie said...

You are SO bad A! I'm glad you are able to laugh now!

Callin and Kristen said...

Oh.My.Heck. Bad A all the way.

Anonymous said...

You are a sweetheart to make something so serious be funny. You are the first blog I signed up for and I am so glad. Keep it coming.

JLL24 said...

Why is it always the little puff balls that cause so much trouble? Love to see a pic of your dog, he sounds so cool!

Kristy said...

oh, that must have hurt a lot! It was funny in your retelling but I don't know if I would have wanted to watch that happen to you. Hope you are better now. K-

trish said...

Holy smokes Vanessa! Glad you are fine.
You are a trooper. I need to be as dedicated about my walking as you are.

pinksuedeshoe said...

I hope that one day you totally rock the shoes. Without the peep show and tell dress. Because if you being dragged through the snow in your 13 layers was awkward.... well that girl has major MAJOR issues of awkward. Great story. Seriously, great story.

Sarah said...

HA!! Poor you...but that is realllly funny to watch something like that happen (as long as no one is hurt)!

Miranda said...

Wow, what a story. Glad you didn't get hurt though! I'm from MN, I know all about the slip and fall. At least you can blame it on the dogs :)

Glen QuiltSwissy said...

I wouldhave laughed hysterically. That is what I did when Frank looked like those cartoons that fly inthe air when he slipped in the kitchen cleaning up after the hurricane defrosted my frined's fridge and they were out of town, and after my other friend fell INTO the fountain at the zoo ( a huge globe she fancied she could turn since it was floating on a sheet of water), yeah, I would have laughed.

But.....I have been where you are, my dogs were 120+ lbs and have pulled me around a few times.

glen: glad you are not hurt though! (I swear I am not laughing)

Tiphaine said...

not laughing either !!!! :-D

Rebeccarama said...

it's ok to laugh now, right?

you're stories are the best! i love the pictures you use. and now i will have "moves like jagger/jackie" in my head all day, but it's ok, i like that song.

ohiomom said...

O.M.G. Thanks so much for sharing. I feel your pain although I have no dog to blame it on... just plain carelessness and ice, grrr. And just think... your pooch was probably thinking he was protecting you from the boogie man or marshmallow... it's all the same, lol And I must say I would definately have laughed AFTER I made sure you were ok, mostly. I just can't help it. It's the dark side :)

Agnes B. Bullock said...

LOVE Jackie Chan and you could so rock those shoes!

Barb@Witsend said...

That was very funny! Glad you're feeling better. My sister met our new neighbour by falling out the backdoor and being pulled through the snow so my dog could say hello first.

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