Thursday, November 13, 2008

things my kids will probably tell their therapists in 25 years


picture from my archives: oldest son with a butterfly on his shirt in our front yard

well so yeah, i've been known to try to "fool" my children from time to time...like the time when i picked them up from school and kept driving past our house to two towns over to the local health center.
when they asked where we were going i told them "the health center."
they then asked "do you have to go to the doctor?"
i answered "yes."
it's not my fault that they just left it at that...no follow up questions like " why do you need to go to the doctor?" which then i would of had to answer "to get a flu shot" which then the next best follow up question would be " do we have to get flu shots?" which then i would of had to answer truthfully "yes." but they didn't, so i didn't tell them anything and as i was signing the papers to say yes give my children, and myself pain (which they then would give me a $5 gift certificate to the local food store for each flu shot we got).
the nurse calls out the kids names and they look at me like "what?...WHY?" but they didn't SAY ANYTHING...so i just said "go on, follow the nurse."
she looks at me quizzically and i mouth "they don't know what's coming" she mouths "OH." and winks.
by the time i get to them in the room they've sort of figured out that something was not right...they had huddled together in the corner and they looked like cattle in a pen ready to be you know what...so i tell them we are ALL getting the flu shot as i stand in front of the door...just in case. my second boy (who is the most scared of the needle, and also happens to almost out wiegh me) starts whimpering and saying "i don't want to! I DON'T WANT TO!"

the other children did pretty well, the 8 year old played it tough and didn't even cry, the little one and the youngest of the boys cried a little but were fine when they got their sucker. now my middle boy was the last to go because he had wedged himself under the chairs and the wall...it took two nurses and me holding him down to finally get it in him. i felt kind of bad until i retrieved my $25 worth of gift certificates to the grocery store... where i bought them ice cream.

uh yeah or like two weeks ago when i didn't change the hour for the time change so they went to bed one hour early and then i would, after they fell asleep, change it to the right time so they would go to school on time, and then i would change the clocks back again while they were at school, so they would go to bed early...yeah for a week.

i'm such stellar mom...and their therapists are going to have a field day with me! :)

20 comments:

Rachel said...

Oh my gosh you make me laugh! My kids just got flu shots but they did flu mists, they had to sniff it. So they were happy that they didn't have to get shot up.

Now that baby on the other hand had the shot and she was not so happy.

And I wish I would have though of changing the clock all week! Fabulous idea, I'm saving that one for the spring. :):) j/k (kinda)

Bonnie said...

This is hilarious!

StitchinByTheLake said...

Hilarious! I do so enjoy reading your blog. :) blessings, marlene

Kinsey Pistorius said...

that's hilarious! You are brave to do that, take all of them in at the same time and by yourself!!! I haven't even got the flu shot yet and I know I am supposed to because I am pregnant - I am in just denial winter is coming...

girlsmama said...

We get to get ours tomorrow! Yay. I love that you changed the clocks. That cracks me up. I hope you enjoyed your "extra" hours. Love.

Mindy said...

I love your time change idea! I'm afraid my kids are too old to fall for it though... :(

Aubrey said...

You changed the clocks to make them go down early--awesome. Why have I never thought of that? Too many clocks to keep me on time that I ignore anyway.

SLO Rober said...

That is so funny. I love the clock trick. My kids created quite a scene with the flu shots as well. The 7 year old made the biggest scene.

Sandy said...

The clock thing is hilarious - why didn't I think of that?? Think how many extra hours I would have!

Our local clinic MAKES you tell the kids whats going to happen to them in the waiting room - they are pretty snarky about it, actually. They want the parent to deal with all the fussing and crying before the nurses have to deal with them. And if they catch any parent saying, "It won't hurt" to their kids, they'll full on yell at you in the waiting room. It's lovely.

rachel griffith said...

haha.
you crack me up!!!

"i don't want to go!"

Brundage Family said...

That is awesome! Especially the clock changing thing...I may have to try that next year.
Brooke

Christina said...

Thanks for a good laugh. I need to remember this in the coming years.

Sheldon and Becca said...

totally un-related, but i just wanted to tell ya that i love, love, love that you post tutorials for those less talented individuals such as myself!

Sheldon and Becca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tracy said...

Dang...why didn't I think of that clock thing? :)

Sal Gal said...

You gotta do what you gotta do! :)

Camille said...

ha ha ha... If THAT is reason for therapy, my kids are doomed.

Kara said...

K I absolutly love it! My kids are warned a week in advance and it is torture every day, they scream and cry harder at the idea of the shot than the actual shot. I'm going to try this next time!

wendysquilting said...

Too funny, I did think of taking advantage of the time change but only for the one night.....never occurred to me to try it for the full week. My girls were really good about bed time when they were little but once the teen years hit I eventually gave up and I go to bed before them quite often :)

Denise said...

this is hilarious! i love it.

as i see it, if they're gonna go to therapy anyways, we might as well give them reasons.

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