walmart hell part three: here's part one and part two and yes now sadly i have a part three:
it all started out okay, i've managed not to go into the box store with all the monsters for the whole summer. i even paid a whopping $36 dollars to the 12 year old baby sitter just so i didn't have to take the kids. but this time i was hopeful, no... must of had a brain fart and momentarily forgot my experiences, yeah that's it a brain fart.
anyways i digress...it all started out okay i got to my in laws before they were home and i was in desperate need of some milk for the little one...only to open the refrigerator and see that they were out of the good stuff. as i was staring at the fridge my mother in law calls and says they would be there the next day and was super sorry that they ran out of milk. it's okay i can handle it. so i pile the kids in cause katie is throwing a fit that i would have the audacity to give her water in her bottle. we drive over to the box store and i immediately weigh my options:
1. i could lock the kids up in the car with air conditioning going and a movie while i run inside only to probably find a police officer talking to my kids after my 8 year old would tell him what a horrible mother i was and all the horrible things i make him do like clean his room or take the trash out or how i torture him (i don't but i wouldn't put it past him to misinterpret "time out in your room" till you tell me why you would do that...to she tortures me)
2. i could just not go in and go back to the in laws and say "okay katie, milk is over rated anyways, just drink luke warm tap water"
3. i could go to mcdonalds down the street and go through the drive through and pay the same amount for a bottle's worth that i could get at walmart for a gallon.
4. i could go in and, MAYBE THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT...i mean i'm just going to get milk that's it nothing else just one gallon.
as i gave myself a pep talk and got my $5 bill out all ready so that all i had to do was hand it to the clerk as i passed by the people free cash register....yeah STUPID i KNOW! i start to hyperventilate and pretty much call myself a coward for having a panic attack in the parking lot. okay "LET's DO THIS THING" i look back at the kids, they all look at me lovingly with big brown eyes and i open my mouth, nate interjects and says "we know mom! one hand on the cart, and no loudness" okay then off we go.
oh. my. gosh. we did it we went to the back of the store where the milk was got it and the kids did great, they held on to the cart all was well, and i wasn't even bombarded with "can we get toys, can we have that sugary snack, can we get that cereal that would rot our teeth out just by having the box in our house?" questions...all was good...and we got to the line. score i only had one thing sooooo into the less than 10 items line we went. two people ahead no worries. all kids still there kyle started to climb under the cart but that was okay he was just sitting there. nate started spouting off about going swimming to no one in particular, that was okay too, katie started to fidget but we were up next no worries. ryan, was...just being ryan and had climbed into the cart and was sitting there looking at some paper that was left in the cart from before. nice all is well. my turn to get checked out. "hi how you doing" good thank you...kyle starts screaming like a banshee! what's wrong?! is he hurt stuck did his fingers get pinched? i couldn't see anything wrong so i tried to pick him up from underneath but i tugged and he was stuck. i heard from somewhere far away (but pretty sure it was right next to me) "his foot is stuck!" okay i can fix that, i started to try to tug it out and kyle just freaked more, and louder. by this time we had every ones attention in the up scaled "neighborhood walmart" where they sell nice expensive coffee, pastries and fresh cut flowers...here i was with kyle screaming bloody murder, and then katie had somehow wriggled out of the belt in the cart and now was standing and the same someone who had told me that my son's foot was stuck now was telling me that my daughter was about to fall out of the cart. of course she is! aaaaah! anyways i grab kyle finally (he's still screaming) i grab katie in my other hand, and nate starts trying to "help" by becoming a clown and flailing his arms and yelling "hey look at me i'm going to fall!!!" and then proceeds to throw himself on the floor. and when it doesn't make kyle laugh he tries it again and again and again. the tears start swelling in my eyes. i start looking at the cashier hand him my $5 grab the milk, start walking away. "uh mam, here's your change, can i get someone to help you out?" tears spill over, "no, i'll be fi.... no that's okay"
i walk away with a four and almost two year old in my arms one still crying, nate's still falling on the ground and flailing because he thinks he can make it better by making people laugh, but no one's laughing. and i push the cart with a combination of my arms and torso, all the while everyone is still feeling sorry for me or calling me a bad mom who knows. i get into my car get everyone loaded up, i turn on the car, veggi tales comes on, i stare at the gallon of milk and think "well that was bad" some day i'm going to laugh right? this is going to be hysterically funny some day... i just know it is! ugh this is why i don't leave my house anymore!