i should want this right? i find so many friends walking different parts of life, some are done done with kids like 8 years ago, they have highscoolers and some that are even going off to first years of college. then i have others who are still in the process of planning when the next pregnancy will be "planned" some of those plans don't work as well and hence the other set of friends going through the process of "well what are our options to help us get pregnant" then there's the group that i fall into, "am i done? i think i am..." but it feels so final to say those words, sad really. i should be rejoicing shouldn't i? i get to work on my tired body, i get to say how much caffeine is enough, i get to say that in a couple more years i'll be able to volunteer in the kids classes without a kid on my back (literally, the backpack is a lifesaver these days!) i will be able to say if i want a day of just reading for an hour say at like 10 am, i can! so why am i so sad, blue, down, to say that i am now to walk this part of my life? it might not help that 3 out of 5 neighbors are pregnant, oops sorry 2 one just had her baby, and she smelled, looked, felt, and sounded wonderful! but do i really think another baby is in our future? i don't think so. so i should be okay, i can hold other people's babies (which up until now was not a huge happy maker for me, because i had one of my own) i just have to keep reminding myself, this is a good thing, this is a good thing...so off i go to get that stinking IUD, i know too much info i'm sorry, feel like this is where i can vent, feel down, share my newest goals, and share my accomplishments, ask for help and what not. wish me luck i'm not quite sure where an IUD falls in any of those categories, hmmmmm.