Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Scream free parenting


I've been been reading this book "Scream Free Parenting" and like most books like that, I lose interest before they give you all the details on how to do the actual "scream free" part. well I have to share my version of scream free parenting...the other day started out just like any other day after school, CHAOS... Ryan and Kyle were running around in circles, Katie was in her chair screaming cause she was out of snacks and Nate of course was arguing with me that he didnt need to do his homework. I managed to get Kyle and Ryan to play in their room, Katie some snacks, and Nate was still doing, well, was pushing buttons. He has this talent of taking 5 to 20 minutes on each math problem. The aggrivating part is that I know he can do the whole page in less than 2 if he wanted to. But this day he was not going to let up, so after 45 minutes or so of "come Nate, you are so smart Nate, I know you can do THIS NATE..." the other boys start running back in screaming and yelling because Kyle or Ryan had the others toy, there was crying and running , and that set Katie off who was just finally becoming content and I had FINALLY got to put her down for a minute. So three kids yelling and crying and screaming, katie trying to grab my legs, and then I lost Nate, (he only had like two more problems left, and then I could finally start dinner) he started in on the fun and and I lost it. You know that shaking feeling that kids better be running away from you cause you were going to SCREAM and START GRABBING! SO I with shaking voice say "I've got to go!!!!" and I ran outside. It was freezing but I didn't care, I wasnt going to yell at them. And I became a crazy person. I ran from one side of my pasture to the other side. I'm sure that the nieghbors were saying something like "I really don't understand them city folk, I mean look at her, she's rambling off something and running like a mad cow!" The kids had all stopped what they were doing and I could hear them saying "Mom? What are you doing mom? She's funny! HI MOM!!!" everytime ran past that window I heard them. I screamed up at the sky for patience, and then as I walk back into the house red faced and exausted, I walk in to shouts of joy "YEAH MOM!!" I smile wipe the tears and sit and Nate asks "Are you okay now?" "Yes, yes I am."


I just have to mention that this happened a few weeks ago, and since then, whether its that we're on a schedule without Jake, or whether my frantic tatic to Not yell at them scared them and don't want to see mommy lose it again, or weather it's the Lord helping us through this time in trying to do our best without my wonderful partner, we are doing a lot better. Nate's doing Awsome at school, and the boys are trying so hard to be nice to eachother, Katie's become a little more independent, and I havn't had a "running like a mad cow" incident since that day!

9 comments:

SLO Rober said...

I swear my family is just like yours, minus one child. I always have to coax and persuade Ashlynn to do her homework, even though she could finish it in a snap if she wanted to. Briggs is pretty low maintenance, just asks a lot of questions that require an answer. And Ty is just into everything and must be monitored. If I had a pasture I'd be running up and down it, too. I'm convinced my kids can sense when mommy aint doing well and really step up and help.

Mindy said...

Hmmm... I might have to try that mad cow tactic sometime!

girlsmama said...

Good for you for handling it without yelling! I'm sure I would have just started yelling. You are awesome!

The Holloways said...

You are amazing! I am really, really working on speaking calmly--but the other day I lost it and told my 3 year old to "get over it". :) Yikes...I wish she didn't remember things so well now! :)

You are doing an awesome job! Truly admirable!

Bonnie said...

This just cracked me up, Vanessa..we have all been there. I know it wasn't funny at the time but it really reminded me of days gone by! One of my friend's mother had six daughters. One day they had a similar scene to yours and the mom totally lost it. She ran to the front door. flung it open, and shouted at the top of her lungs "Satan, come right on in, you are welcome here!" My friend is nearly 60 and she still talks about it. It really had a affect on the girls as they just were so surprised. You are doing fine..deployment is very difficult on families. How long is Jake gone?

Felicia said...

Is this the first background change for today? If not, then I missed the first one :o)

SallyAnn said...

Too funny, well at least it will be funny later! You're a great mom! Love ya V!

Jenny said...

Scream free parenting?? That's for the birds. Just kidding. I think I need that book right about now too. Happy Valentine's Day you!!! I love ya and love having you as a friend!! I must admit I would love to have seen that whole mad cow thing. Classic.

Cannon Clan said...

v keep up the good work, its nice to know that someone else has a son who wont do his homework with out pushing buttons and kids who fight and a mom who has to give herself a time out. man i wish you lived closer!

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