Tuesday, February 26, 2008

our final goodbye

jake with his mom and dad
our ever so excited selves
nate


daddy and katie
daddy and kyle
looking on to the airplane
my favorite picture


i don't know why they've dragged this process out so long, i would of much rather had a quick pull of the the bandaid instead of a little tug every couple of days or weeks, but now our actual "year" deployment begins. it was emotional to say the least, but the blessings at 5 am this morning made everything seem okay. we're suppose to be doing this at this time, i'm suppose to be here in this super small town while he is gone (when we prayed we were astounded that we were to pass up chicago, teaching at a medical school and doing research at the hospital, jake's dream job) my children were promised blessings that brought tears to my eyes, i was promised strength beyond my comprehession, all i have to do is ask for help from above, the words "He's waiting just for you to ask, and the blessings are there for you to have" we were all assured that life will go on, Heavenly Father knows of our needs, and is wanting to give us so much if i just ask for help. (i think i see a pattern here) i was also blessed with acknowledgement that i struggle quietly (well i guess i did till i just wrote it out!) and that i need to stop that and just ask for help. OKAY I GET IT! but anyways, it was wonderful.


all in all it was super busy after he left, i sat with all four children for over 2 hours at the militarynational guard headquarters just waiting to get a current ID card. the couple of soldiers kept apologizing for all the computer glitches that were causing the delay, as we walked away, they jokingly said "are you going to be alright? i mean we could watch them for a little if you need a moment" i looked at them smiled and said "i don't think you would last a minute, they would eat you alive, but thank you!" we all laughed and as i walked away i had a moment of "yeah, i'm super-mom" then it faded as the kids finally let loose and started running and yelling, fighting about who was going to pick the movie in the car, katie had had it and was not having the stroller again! and so forth. it wasnt till the drive home after BYU (signitures for jake's dissertation) while the movie had long been over and the kids were all nodding off that i did the cry, that ugly one, the one you are praying no one sees. it was brief it was fierce, and now i'm tired. i am going to bed, to sleep off the headache, and to welcome tomorrow morning 364 days left till my sweetheart comes home to us for good. one day at a time. with lots of prayers. thank you for your kind words, and prayers, and thoughts, we appreciate them!

13 comments:

SLO Rober said...

As cliche as it sounds- you are an inspiration to us all. We will be thinking of you and praying for you and your whole family.

Mindy said...

Vanessa, I'm crying for you! You're a strong woman! Email me anytime!

girlsmama said...

I'm crying with you! You will be supermom, and I pray the time will pass quickly. Call upon me anytime night or day. I'll do what I can!

The White House said...

My heart aches for you- I can only imagine how difficult that goodbye was. Thank you for your sacrifice, your strength, and Jacob's service. You, Jacob, and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers throughout this year.

Miss Jen said...

Awwhh! This is making me cry! I am so amazed at your strength! You have been given a great and powerful blessing it sounds like! Don't forget to follow it like I always do! Please let us know when you are in town. We always want to see you and I'd love to keep your kids if you just need some time off!

taylor3 said...

Vanessa, anytime you need us to come up for a weekend or just some help, please let us know. Max and I would love to come up for night to give your a break. Anyway, we love you and are thinking you constantly. Love, Matt, Liz and Max

P.S. I started a blog...
http://taylor3-mattandliz.blogspot.com/

The Holloways said...

You are amazing! Really....truly amazing. I have had a few really good cries in my life--aren't they so refreshing (and EXHAUSTING?!) Hang in there! We are all rooting for you!

laura.elizabeth said...

Hi Vanessa, I am Jen Stewarts sister, Laura. She told me your husband deployed today and I just had to comment on your post today because brought me back a few years to when my husband was deployed. I have to agree with you, just getting Robert ON deployment was one of the hardest parts of the whole thing- so give yourself a pat on the back for surviving this day well!

I loved your comments about the priesthood blessing you received, I can not tell you how many times the words of the blessing I received brought me comfort and peace while Robert was gone. I was promised that "I would have help from beyond the veil"- and truly I did! I can't imagine surviving a military deployment (or any long separation) without a knowledge and testimony of the gospel. You are so blessed!

My boys were 6 and 3 when Robert was deployed. I was (and continue to be) amazed at how resilient they are about all of the travel he does for work. I was amazed also at how the Lord helped me. I really wondered if I had it in me to care for my kids and my house and myself while Robert was gone. And sure enough, day by day, I was given exactly what I needed to not only make it through but to learn and grow along the way.

Anyway, I have clearly written too much but I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and will definitely be in my prayers.

laura.elizabeth said...

The best part about deployment day is that you actually get to start counting the days until he comes home! What could be better than that!

When Robert was gone, I was an aerobics instructor and always included the number of days until he got home in my work out (i.e. 250 total reps today, 100 sit up or 56 push-up!) It was fun!

Laura said...

What beautiful pictures!!! You are such a strong gal!!! We will have to play a lot to pass the time. Give me a call when you come into town. Your family will be in our prayers!!!

Sal Gal said...

Oh V, everyone is crying with you! What a special experience for your family with the priesthood blessings! You can come and stay with me whenever you want! Seriously! We will be praying for you, Jake, and the kids! What an example you are to others about following the spirit! I don't think I could let my husband go even if the spirit shouted! I am not that strong! Hang in there!! We love you!

The Christensons said...

thank you! i didn't mean to make you all cry! sorry! but we're doing better today! we made a poster of 365 days and we've crossed off two already, the kids love it, as for the push ups and sit ups, yeah i think i will laura! then i will have sexy abs and super awsome arms at the end of this thing! who knew deployment could be good for your workout? ;)

Bonnie said...

Vanessa, I am so glad that my Laura wrote to you along with Jen. I talked to her this morning in Italy and she was a truly feeling your pain...as we all are. Laura is cougarlou plus the usual ending if you want to see her blog or you can find her under Lou Lou on mine or Jen's blog. Sometimes it just helps to have someone who has been there. Not that I am prejudice or anything but she makes for an awesome friend. Praying for you all. B

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